Tantrums

Yesterday I decided to have a mommy daughter day. I do this every week if I can on a day that I am off. I was really looking forward to this particular day because we were going to visit someone close to me that I haven't seen in a log time. Unfortunately, Emily was not in the same spirits, the short visit was the only part of the day she decided to be calm happy and cute. However, I could not get anything done that morning, she kept screaming and everything I did did not work. She ate two bowls of oat meal and then was calm for about 5 minutes, enough time for me to blow dry my hair. THen the screaming started, she wanted me to pick her up then she squirmed for the floor, I cahnged her diaper it was dry, I tried to play with her and she turned me down. I checked her temp and she was normal, then I realized she was teething, so i gave her tylonal, didnt really help much though. Oh well maybe today will be better, she is going to daycare after all.....haha, she loves playing with her friends, hopefully our next mommy daughter day will be better.

She makes me smile

I love looking through all the old photos and seeing how much my baby girl has grown. She has gotten so big and even though she is not walking, she moves so quick and tornados through the house. It is so cute to watch her during bath time play with her toys. She loves to play in the tub. I love watching her little personality come through her solo play time. The other night she was walking around the bathroom (hold on the surfaces) completely naked. I had the radio on and she was shaking her little bare booty it was so funny we just had to laugh. She also decided to be super cute the other day at PF Changs and the manager got hr a free PF Changs baby onsie. She also stole the hearts of some sales associates at Anthropoligie and I was like keep working your magic baby and get mommy some discounts. Of course they cant do that, but I can dream. she loves to sing in the car and put her foot to her mouth and make noises. It is really entertaining but very weird. She has no problems what so ever with putting her feet over her head and sleeping. She is such a happy little girl I could not be any more blessed. Well I take that back because I have the best future husband to go along with her. And we only have 5 and a half weeks until we are officially a family.

You are One today

Dear Emily,

It has only been a year, but so much has happened in that short time. It seems like it was yesterday when i held you for the first time. You were red, screaming, and absolutely perfect. I loved the faces you use to make at bath time, it was as if you were saying "Im naked as a jay-bird mama, cover me up." I can't believe I was ever worried about you crawling, because now it seems like you teleport from one place to the next. You make me laugh when you dance to music and sleep with your legs straight up in the air. You are such a little doodle bug, and a sneaky one. Now you are pulling yourself up and trying so hard to walk. You will get there, I am not worried. I love when you splish and splash in the tub. You crack me up, even though I would prefer you didn't splash to the point of soaking me, it is still fun to see your face. I love how happy you are. I will always be here for you baby. I love you so much.

Love,
Mommy

burned out

While one grows up they are often encouraged to go to college and pursue an awesome career. Well this is very difficult. Especially when the natural order of things goes off corse. Even though having a wonderful healthy happy baby is amazing; you tend to teeter between regret for not being there enough and regret from not spending enough time on school work.
I hate it when I am away from my baby, but when I have to do homework i can not seem to get away fast enough. I love being around her and being involved in every part of her life and be able to witness every milestone. Unfortunately I can't. I have to work and go to school and study. I am not saying all this to complain. I am trying to get my point across stating there is a reason parents instill the natural order of events.
you go to school, go to college, get married/get a job, then have babies. God did not just put this in place to teach us patience and good morals, there was a reason behind it. It was to allow us to be able to enjoy our whole family, not deal with the stresses of being unmarried and in school  and having a job. Having to go through everything at once is overwhelming at times and causes you to sacrifice your time with your little one and your significant other.

The happiest person in the World

Every morning I have the pleasure of waking up to a beautiful baby smile. SHe wakes up every morning with this wonderful outlook on life. "I have nothing to fear because mommy is here with me and will take care of me, then I get to go to daycare and play with my friends." She has nothing to stress over. SHe knows she will be fed, comforted and entertained. SHe has nothing to worry over, nothing to bring her entire day down.
If we woke up in the morning with this same general outlook, we would be never have a horrible day, just unfortunate moments. If we wake up thinking today will be great because my basic needs will be met and I will encounter different people along the way. We can't do anything about people hurting our feelings or if we obtain an illness, but we can control our reactions and our thought process.
A baby will get hurt or hungry and cry but then it gest better and they soon forget what happened to make them sad in the first place. I am also not saying my daughter is without a doubt the happiest person to ever exist, but she only knows her thoughts and at this point in her life, as in any baby's life, she is the happiest baby in the world.

Dropping off Daycare

Today, when my little one woke up she was in the best mood. She was laughing and playing to entertain herself. She decided to grab a huge stack of papers off of the coffee table and spread them all over the floor. I had to laugh because she doesn't even crawl yet and yet she manages to get into everything. 

When I brought her to daycare this morning I put her on the floor to play with another baby girl. The other baby was sitting in a bumpy and Emily went straight for her toes. Then the other baby began to jabber to my little one and she looked at the other baby girl, waved and said bye bye. 

Then they began to dance to the music and shake their rattles to the beat. It was so cute, I didn't want to leave. It is days like today, when the weather is beautiful and my baby is happy and ready to play that I just want to stay home and play with her, and take walks outside. 

My few minutes of joy

I love spending time with my little girl. She brings so much joy into my life. I love reading her bedtime stories and then snuggling with her before bed.
Last night I had so much homework and it makes it very difficult to be a good mom. I often wonder if I made the right decision to go back to school, but then I think about how things will be better once I am done for school and can help my future husband support our family. Therefore, it was a real treat to have the opportunity to cuddle with my baby in the bed until she fell asleep.
Even though I have to spend a lot of time at school, work, and on homework; I still get a few minutes in the evening to give to my daughter. Yes, I know it is simple and may not seem like a lot to you but it means everything to me.