Things I just don't understand

There are times in our lives when we hear stories about people's lives, which cause us to ask God why?. We just don't understand. I don't understand how I can have a baby who is completely healthy, when I never even wanted to be pregnant, and yet women who have been trying to have a baby for years finally are able to carry and their little one dies. Or the baby they have been praying for has be born with a rare disease and has a life expectancy of less than a year. Sometimes I want to know what God is thinking. Not because I think he is being mean or spiteful, but I want to know why them and not someone like me. I am the one who sinned and had sex outside of marriage, why is my child "perfect" and theirs fighting for the few days they have left. It truly makes my heart hurt for them as well as feel very blessed to have a daughter who is healthy. Though sometimes it makes me wonder where is my punishment. Don't get me wrong I do not want God to punish me with an unhealthy child because I do not think my heart could handle it. Maybe that is it. Maybe He knows they can handle this, where as I can't. I do pray for those families to have the strength they need to get through this, because if I were them I know I would need all the prayer in the world. There is no way anyone can get through those things without God.