It's been a while

It has been a while since I have posted anything new... So I owe a decent story I am sure. Well I don'y know if this will do but here it goes.
The other morning I woke up and fed Emmy. We then decided that both of us were sleepy. AKA...mommy was sleepy and Emmy wanted to play. Well I put her in bed with me and she snuggled in close and grabbed my face to give me a kiss. I always feel so much joy in my heart when she does something to show just how much she loves me. I can't explain it. We went back to sleep and I didn't wake up until less than one hour before my class started.
I had to RUSH. I needed to get her and myself ready. Well I knew I was just going to have to miss class. The little stinker took a really good nap and then played in the car the whole way to the daycare with her panda bear. I love it when she plays with her toys.
She loves to play with the big bad wolf who sings "Little Red Riding Hood." She loves it. The Wolf's nose taste good and the music is a dancing tune for the baby. She also got over her fear of the ABC dog. Hahaha... No more crying for her when she presses the paw. Though I have to admit baby toys can get creepy. The little stuffed animals that sing and dance can be scary to a baby.
Anyway, I hope that I caught everyone up.

Things I just don't understand

There are times in our lives when we hear stories about people's lives, which cause us to ask God why?. We just don't understand. I don't understand how I can have a baby who is completely healthy, when I never even wanted to be pregnant, and yet women who have been trying to have a baby for years finally are able to carry and their little one dies. Or the baby they have been praying for has be born with a rare disease and has a life expectancy of less than a year. Sometimes I want to know what God is thinking. Not because I think he is being mean or spiteful, but I want to know why them and not someone like me. I am the one who sinned and had sex outside of marriage, why is my child "perfect" and theirs fighting for the few days they have left. It truly makes my heart hurt for them as well as feel very blessed to have a daughter who is healthy. Though sometimes it makes me wonder where is my punishment. Don't get me wrong I do not want God to punish me with an unhealthy child because I do not think my heart could handle it. Maybe that is it. Maybe He knows they can handle this, where as I can't. I do pray for those families to have the strength they need to get through this, because if I were them I know I would need all the prayer in the world. There is no way anyone can get through those things without God.

Teeth troubles

I think one of the hardest things about being a mother are the times when your child is in pain. Especially when they are still to young to tell you what is hurting and there is no way to fix it. However, even if you are sure it doesn't always mean you will be able to ease their pain. 

My little one is cutting her first tooth at almost 7 months now. She is in so much pain and there is very little I can do for her and nothing seems to work. She fusses and cries and screams. She is also biting everything in sight, whether it's a toy or my hand. The cold washcloth has seemed to help the most. Even though it is okay to use the baby oragel, I am still unsure about the effects it may have on my sweetie. When she is constantly crying, I am almost crying right there with her. 

I pray she is not in this much pain for the rest of her teeth. How much pain can one baby handle? 

My little doodle bug: Things that make a mother smile : )

My little doodle bug: Things that make a mother smile : ): "I know the experts tell you it is considered spoiling your children if you go visit them at school. Well I don't care. I get to see my littl..."

Things that make a mother smile : )

I know the experts tell you it is considered spoiling your children if you go visit them at school. Well I don't care. I get to see my little Em-Bug in action. When I walk in the room her face lights up with the biggest smile I have ever seen. Then she holds her arms out and leans toward me to pick her up. This truly melts my heart. However, there are some things  which are extra special.
One of the things I hate about having my daughter in daycare, is missing out on her life. I don't get to catch her reaching her milestones when they first happen. Maybe I am being selfish, but I am her mother.
Today, I did get to witness her flip herself from her back to her belly. Now she has been flipping herself from her belly to her back for a while; the back to belly flipping has been giving her trouble and today she finally did it.
My advice to anyone who has a child in daycare: Go drop in for a visit if you can on your lunch hour, because seeing these precious moments make memories which will last a lifetime. It may also help in you not feeling as though you are abandoning your child for the day.

Daddy says no!

Emmy loves her feet. She loves to pull her feet up to her mouth, above her head, and suck her toes. However, when she does the heal stretch pose, she looks like a mini cheerleader. Well I was a dancer, so anything showing a hint of talent in dance would make me happy. Cheer is fine if that is what she wants to do one day, but daddy says ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! "She will never be a cheerleader. I will pay for dance lessons, but not cheerleading." Now I think it is hilarious, but I am wondering if he can say that about cheer, can I say that about Manga? I think so. ; ) But then again I'm not a huge advocate for cheerleading myself.

Sitting up and Tantrums!

So this weekend, was great with all the milestones Emmy seemed to accomplish. She sat up by herself for 15 minutes. Little did i know that within a few minutes the tantrums would start. She wanted mommy's cell phone and would not be satisfied until it was given to her. She screamed and kicked and screamed, then we gave her something to play with thinking it would distract her but the little bugger caught on and wanted the cell phone. Yes temper tantrums can start as early as 6 months... So how bad can the terrible two's get? She did say daddy this weekend I think... But you can never tell if it was by chance or not. Babies just babble and they don't really get it. Also DO NOT get in a 6 month's old face. They will get angry and they will slap you. Also do not make them take a nap if they are not sleepy or if they don't want one, you are in for an afternoon of screams. Although you need to let them know who is boss, maybe you can hold off on that until they are closer to a year.

My little doodle bug: Can it start this early?

My little doodle bug: Can it start this early?: "The other day I went to visit Emmy at her daycare. She was playing on the floor with a little boy who is exactly 3 days younger then her. Sh..."

Can it start this early?

The other day I went to visit Emmy at her daycare. She was playing on the floor with a little boy who is exactly 3 days younger then her. She leans over, grabs his face and gives him a big wet one on the side of his head.
Today, I drop her off and she grabs his foot as he turns to crawl away, and then has a huge  mischievous grin from ear to ear.
Later I stop by for a visit on my lunch break and they are holding hands and he is giving her kisses. Well either kisses or he found his new teething ring on my daughter's face.
Okay, Okay, so what is my point right? Well they are just 6 months old!?! So how can they understand any of this at such a young age. Could it be that they are imitating the affection shown to them by their parents, or does she instinctively understand that that is my friend and I love him. Either way I find it absolutely adorable to watch. Just don't tell daddy! Shhhh!

My little doodle bug: How Emmy saved my life

My little doodle bug: How Emmy saved my life: "So when I first found out that I was pregnant I thought that my life was ruined. I just knew not only would I loose my family, but also ever..."

How Emmy saved my life

So when I first found out that I was pregnant I thought that my life was ruined. I just knew not only would I loose my family, but also everyone who meant anything to me. I also figured that  my plans for the future would be ruined and I would never achieve those goals.
Well it wasn't until after having her that all of these things seemed to come true. I was extremely depressed and felt as though I had no connection to my daughter as well as to the love of my life. I felt like I had to do everything myself and do it perfectly in order to prove to the world that I was a fit mother and was still the same person I had always been. I lost some friends and some of my closest family members.
After 5 plus months of therapy, my therapist who was a godsend helped me realize that I did not have to be  perfect. She informed me that a lot of the horrible things going through my mind and the anxiety was do to having obsessive compulsive disorder and that I am very connected to my daughter. Through the course of the time I spent in therapy I learned that I never lost those family members, it was an exaggeration of events which caused me to believe this way. I also came to the realization that the friends I lost and no longer talk to are not as important to me, they were actually insulting people who were negative influences in my life. I had to think about did I really want these people around my beautiful daughter. I also decided the thing I wanted to do more than anything else was help people. I have always struggled with anxiety and until my daughter came along I had never received the kind of tools I needed to cope with it. I knew there were other people out there like me who needed the same help and this was exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to give people this kind of help.
My love and I worked through our problems, and I saw how great a father he was which allowed me to look past the things which were not important. He is always there for my and Emmy and I thank God every day for the wonderful man he brought into my life.
If I had never become pregnant, I would have never gotten help with my anxiety, never learned who the important people were and never found the fulfilling career choice I had been searching for. If it wasn't for this amazing little joy who I look at every day and see God's love pouring from her smiling face, I would have been lost in this hectic world. She is proof that God can turn around an unfortunate situation and make it a true blessing.